there was a trapeze. enough said
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
