I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Semen is not good for contacts.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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