Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
