i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
