Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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