ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize