she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I am mentally ready for anal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
