Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.

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(210): View more from Texas

last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.

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(650): View more from California

In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.

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