do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
