you guys were way drunker than both of me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
