Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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