I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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