Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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