I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
