just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Vodka?
Forever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
