I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
