that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
