Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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