I feel like I'm in dance class right now
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
