if you like me you must not know who I am
someone owes me an orgasm
i wish my penis had a tongue
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
