Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
