you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
