That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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