I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
