If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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