He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
