I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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