Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
