4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize