He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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