it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
