every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
