And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
