I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
