How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
