happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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