bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
