And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
