I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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