it's not cheating when I paid for it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
