The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
