clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
