You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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