Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was like eating out sand paper
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
