I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
