When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
