Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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