meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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