so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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