What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Found your dick twin last night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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