so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
