I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
