can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
