32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
