guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
