But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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