Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
