mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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