my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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