ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
