we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
