My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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