belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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