Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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