my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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