So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
