Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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