That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
