I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
