There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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