My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
